March on ye Warriors and Warriors-to-be (but don't march too hard)

Today I begin to incorporate some Ayurvedic prescribed dietary changes to bring about more balance--less heat, more cool, less fire, more ice, less sun, more moon. I had my first accupuncture session yesterday, pretty amazing. Interesting how some of the needles have an electrical vibration to them as they are adjusted, inserted, or removed, such energy.

The sweet cleaning ladies come this morning which is good, but my routine will be slightly interrupted in that I'll need to stay here and skip morning class. Dale will run errands and I've got to get busy soon. Gary and Fred, I was thinking how much I've enjoyed our weekly Tuesday evening gatherings over the past year plus, and how much I appreciate the friendship, the sharing, the conversation, the support, and definitely the naked dancing that was so liberating and so much fun! But, all things reach an end, and I guess our time had come, what with such busy scheduleds you two have. Love you guys and will miss those special gatherings.

We watched Shelter last night, a really sweet movie set in San Pedro CA, a gay love story, coming out, coming of age, the crazy family and the choices we make and how they have such a profound effect on our lives, and also how the pull of family when dysfunction is going on can also have a profound effect on our lives. The acting was so good, so natural. The protaganist's name was Zach, and he was very much the surrogate father to his nephew, which reminds me of my own nephew, yet another Zach, and how I need to make arrangements to have him stay with us this summer. What will we do in this heat? It can be pretty demanding trying to entertain a kid. Maybe we can take the trapeze course if it's being offered at the Crossing, need to check on some things. I'm sure Roger will have ideas.

Wayo, it was good seeing you the other night and so sweet of you to share a bit of your recent trip to Israel and Jordan. I wonder if I will ever see Petra, it's high on my list. Oh yea, yoga yoga, I took a class recently at Yoga Yoga--hadn't been there in a while--and spent some time chatting afterwards with the teacher, an especially nice guy. I told him of my fears of enrolling in the Teacher Training progam and he seems to have acquired quite a mature understanding of *life* for someone so young....when I got home I had received some books in the mail and the first one I opened, the first passage I read, in the middle of the book was:

"Entering your own fear-based pain allows you to begin to relate to the pain of others. And thus you can experience a sense of kinship with humanity."

and

"As we feel the pain that all people feel in facing an uncontrollable world, compassion naturally arises--even for our 'enemies'".

[excerpt from Saying Yes to Life (Even the Hard Parts) by Ezra Bayda with Josh Bartok]

So true. Serendipitous. Fortuitous. I filled out my application and turned it in along with my deposit. Juan said "awesome, dude, you are in!" And I'm a bit scared and I know that is totally okay, in fact, it's damn good to acknowledge that! Which reminds me, I miss our therapy sessions, Allen. I may call soon. You taught me so much, and reminded me how important it is to acknowledge and embrace our shadows, no matter how dark. While I'm at it, I also miss the beautiful guys at group therapy, hope you are all continuing your excellent work, marching on towards your goals, reaching out, sharing. It was time for me to leave, and it was a good decision.

I'm enjoying blogging in my stream of consciousness sort of way. It's scary thinking that others might read what I write. Journaling for me has always been so personal. It will be hard to censor myself here but in some way I suppose I will need to. Hmm, I'll give that more thought.

Time marches on and I need to get in my lunar breathing and meditation, prepare for the ladies.

Ciao

Eat, Pray, Love and Ramble

I finally started reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love and just as everyone told me, it's a great read. It takes me back to my sweet time in Italy (Tuscany) this past Fall and the fantastic Balinese Sojourn and Yoga Adventure retreat I went on with Spirit Journeys and the incomparable David Moreno (Abhi) earlier this year to Bali (2008). Rathi, I miss you! Abhi, I so want to join you and Kevin in NM this summer but alas I don't think that's going happen. I loved last summer's men's retreat at the Bodhi Zen Center. It was a difficult time for me, falling in love at the wrong time with the wrong person and the healing began there with the creative writing, the sweat lodge, the trance dancing and the rest of that incredible and indescribable experience with such a fantastic group of beautiful men. So healing. Yet another lesson in learning to keep my heart open to all things but listen carefully to my gut. I'm looking out my window as I write and the moon is full, or nearly full and draws me. I saw CW today for accupuncture and need to remember to incorporate Nadi Shodana (lunar breathing) into my daily practice. Cool the heat inside. Practice has been good this week. Murti, you are deep in my thoughts and my heart, my teacher, my friend. May good things to come you. I'm glad you read the Andrew Harvey interview in The Sun, and I'm so glad to have discovered him. Now if only I can convince Dale to either go with me or give me his blessing to get signed up for the pilgrimage to India in early 2009. I'm rambling and it's way past my bedtime. I'll curl up with EPL and Pepe and Ralph and let the moon bath the room in her soft glow.

A Swish of Wind

It seems like only yesterday that mama raccoon carried her 4 kits to the front water fountain, presumably to show them where they might find water in the scorching heat, and now only one seems to have survived. I hope the cat food I've been giving him along with a bowl of water is enough to sustain him. He is so little and frail, and seems so alone in this world. Where are you mama? Has something happened to you? Your kit is having a rough time. But such is Nature. I noticed the cottontail that I threw a carrot to this morning is blind in one eye. The painted buntings are still here although for days I didn't see the male with his brilliantly colorful feathers. Soon the bunting family will be gone, until next year. The hummers are swarming and divebombing and always ready for a sweet refill. I counted six squirrels yesterday, lounging on tree limbs and trunks. A young cardinal crashed into the window right next to where I was sitting, so loud a crash that Pepe jumped from my lap to see what was going on. He was alive, just stunned, on the back porch. As usual when this happens, I grab a clean rag and and put the stunned bird in a box up high, safe from predators and especially fire ants, and watch as they recover their strength and take flight once again. He got into the plumbagos and I couldn't get to him, but I could hear the rustle of his movements as he tried to escape my rescue attempt. Suddenly in an instant I felt a swish of wind against my foot just in time to see him take flight to the nearest oak.