Monday, June 6, 2011

Green Doors

I was browsing the Internet when I came across a blog titled Toning the Om:
http://toningtheom.com/, and as I read on there was an mp3 download to a talk given recently by Marianne Williamson.  I downloaded it and have listened to it at least 4 times now.  I find it quite inspiring and although I've heard of Marianne Williamson (click on her name for a download of her talk) I am not familiar with her work, but hope to be soon.  I went back to this blog and noticed that the author had recently returned from a trip to Egypt, and she began thanking her fellow travelers on this trip that was so special to her.  It all sounded vaguely familiar, so I contacted her and sure enough, she had traveled with Spirit Journeys, a unique and spiritually-orientated travel "agency" that puts together trips and workshops relating to yoga, shamanism, spirituality, self-discovery, and so on, and they have many workshops and travel leaders who range from psychologists to shamans to social workers and more.  I have a link to this wonderful group on my blog.  I went with them to Bali as well as their men's retreat at Bodhi Zen Center in New Mexico a few years back.  Highly recommended.

Then I discovered Stephen Cope.  Peggy Kelly (see her new blog Physical Poetry: Ayurveda and Iyengar Yoga) told me I would really like him and she was right, I am so inspired listening to him speak. I downloaded one of his talks from iTunes titled Yoga for Emotional Flow, Free Your Emotions through Yoga Breathing, Body Awareness and Energetic Release.  Absolutely fantastic.   He has a book that is highly recommended:  Yoga and the Quest for the True Self.  It is on order.  On the day that Peggy told me about this author, a friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in quite a while showed up to class, which was unusual as he lives out of town.  He had studied with Stephen Cope years ago at Kripalu.  Anyway, we got together for lunch as he wanted to share a recent event in his life that he described as traumatic.  So I listened.  I was shocked.  I don't want to go into details, but he was arrested and thrown in jail for 36 hours before being released on bail.  What happened to him should not happen in this day and age.  It has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, and I hope justice prevails for him.  We never know what life is suddenly going to throw at us, and it can all happen in a split second and our world as we know it has been dramatically changed. 

I joined Angie's list to find a local plumber to help find an elusive leak associated with the outdoor shower.  In this process, I got an email for whole house window cleaning, inside and out, at a discounted price.  I've never had this done before, so I got an estimate and they are due to arrive at 7:30 a.m. this morning.  Which brings to mind a dream I had last night.  A green door belonging to someone had been removed from its hinges.  First of all let me say that green is the color of the heart chakra, and doors represent openings (as well as closings).  The door had a small window located at eye level.  For some reason the window was covered with plastic, so it was our task to remove all this plastic, and then put the door back on its hinges--rehang it.  To me the door represents the heart, and the importance of allowing our hearts to be open, but perhaps not open in such a way that we can be easily abused or taken advantage of.  But we need to be able to see clearly through our hearts, and not have a film over it that totally blurs our view, or clouds our judgment, as we look out at the landscape of life through the window of the heart.    We need to be able to choose when to open our hearts to love and when to close our hearts to those who mean to harm us, as opposed to having our doors off their hinges completely.  I think this addresses the issues of boundaries and unmindful vulnerability.  Stephen Cope tells us that we must never deny or repress our feelings, but we must let them flow through us.  When we exile a powerful emotion that may be too painful to experience, it will eventually come back at us in one way or another.  It may manifest itself in our body, reappear as a dark shadow/demon, or seek expression through drugs or alcohol.  Until we truly feel the emotion and let it move through us, it will not leave us alone.  This resonates with me. 

I have been having intense pain in the tissue on the left side of my right knee which I feel when doing ardha chandrasana or trikonasana.  It burns and stings intensely and is quite scary.  Peggy tells me that when we have such pain, we should look both above and below the area, in other words the hip area and the ankle/foot area.  Devon confirms this.  Bekir tells me to focus the outward spiral through the femur bone, and not through the knee.  During sitting mediation I noticed (not for the first time) a tightness, a blockage, a particular spot in my right hip crease that stands out loudly in the forefront of all physical sensations.  Focusing on that spot, breathing into to, listening to it, naming it was my task at hand.  After staying with this for maybe ten minutes, I suddenly felt my leg "let go" and the tightness disappeared completely.  I don't think, of course, that this is the end of it, but rather the beginning.  But finding the beginning of something is essential in moving forward in it.

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